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Your life! March 16, 2009

Posted by sickscorpio in Personal.
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A quarter of a century now,
I’ve been doing this
Act of selflessness
with bittersweet feelings.
I’ve been living,
your life…

Does it make you happy?
I know it could have been better,
but you know
there were some things,
i couldn’t really do
or bear,
coz all the time,
you were living
your life too!

And it’s funny to take,
the burden of your blunders,
yet scorn myself
for my mistakes.
What hurts is that
I can’t help rectify
your wrongs,
and rid you
of the guilt and the pain
that I have to share with you.

After all these years,
it’s so clear to me now,
that the escape door I avoided
was really the best thing to do.
It’ld rid you
of my incompetent performance
of your story.
And it will rid me
of your life,
and you of mine!

Murdered Innocence March 28, 2008

Posted by sickscorpio in Blogroll, Personal, Uncategorized.
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A bus conductor in Karachi, aged 13..
A waiter at a roadside teaspot in Larkana, aged 12..
A helper at a motor garage, age 10..
A boy cleaning oil tankers, age 11..
A boy selling combs at bahadurabad, age 8..
A boy selling biscuits at stargate, age 11..
A boy selling pens in bus, age 9..
Another boy begging in buses on the same route, age 11..
A woman age 25+ begging at quaidabad, a child in her lap, destined to become one of the above..
Have our senses stopped working?.. Can’t we feel their pain?, their agony, when they see us driving by?, when we hand out generous tips.. when we drink bottled water…
Their pain is real and their joy imaginary.. Exactly opposite to ours..
Can’t we sacrifice some of our joy for ‘them’?..
Do we even want to think about it?

Pain – the truth February 20, 2008

Posted by sickscorpio in Blogroll, Personal.
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Imagine

no emotions
no attachments
no love
no hate
life driven by physical needs
knowing your opressor inside out
knowing u can’t do anything about it
gets u thinking
u think so much, u see through the conventions
u realize the limits of people’s thoughts
u realize u just can’t share urs with them
u realize they just wont accept ur thoughts
and u have nothing to share except ur thoughts
u have never tasted love
got so much hate that it lost its meaning
u want to be cheerful but just can not
it hurts..
u find people u feel like holding on to
but then they too have limitations
how do u limit ur thoughts to get them to accept
so u dont lose them
it hurts..
when u want to be bound but just can not
having freed urself from all bonds
bonds that lost their meaning
u want to rediscover them
be bound again
just because u found someone u want to trust
someone u dont want to lose
fear, that ur freedom may frighten ur darling
u limit urself
but then u cease to exist being u
u r no more what u are
trying to be someone else
to please the one u love
but ur darling notices it too
tries to find the real you
u fear, u hide
u just can not
they find and leave,
It hurts.